This is a journey we had no idea God would call us to
again. We have been so blessed with our
four children and figured for over four years now that we were “done.” We had reached what we anticipated to be our
max… and were both content with that. It
is hard to explain the process of what we went through and how quickly God
called us to adoption this time. It
was quick, and both of us initially responded with resistance. We didn’t plan to adopt again and we both
hesitantly agreed to pray that God would bring clarity if this was what we were
supposed to be doing. I don’t think
either of us could have anticipated how quickly God would bring that clarity …
so about two weeks after hearing God calling … we were responding with calls to
adoption agencies.
We are now waiting for a referral, home study is complete
and we should have our USCIS approval soon.
Anticipating that email with a picture of a little girl is something
difficult to prepare for. Last time
there was no picture. Last time we
didn’t see our precious daughter’s face until we reached that hospital. Still highly anticipated, but it feels so much
different this time.
Recently I agreed (reluctantly) to sign up for a 10K with Chris to run this
fall. He started running this Spring to
prepare for a half marathon (which he completed in June - in really good time
by the way!) and found a love of running that I honestly still don’t have. I am not a runner. I have never been a runner, but have found
the benefits of running a few different times in the past 7 years. Still, I am not a runner. I often wonder what I must look like, poor
posture, very slow and huffing and puffing the entire way. I know what I look like doesn’t matter, but
it does likely reveal that I am not a runner!
The first day out this summer I was running near my home when I ran past
an older African American woman at her mailbox.
She gave me a beautiful smile and said to me “Hello ... I wish I could run!” I said back to her “I don’t feel like I can
run!” … she said “but you are” … I have not forgotten that beautiful woman and
her words and each time I go running I think of her words “I wish I could
run.” It keeps me going most days. God has still given me the ability to run,
why do I discount this ability?
When I was running today I was thinking about the ways that
we tell ourselves “I can’t” or “I am not.”
I still believe that I am not a runner.
But I also said for many years I am not an international adopter. Chris and I would have said to you over and
over, we see a need here and that is where we are called to adopt. So when God called us to international
adoption, our initial response was “We are not international adopters.” I don’t know why we always thought that, but
once again God has shown us that His ways are not our ways. He has something so much better, even when we
think we can’t do what He is asking us to do.
I am not a runner … but you know what? I am running … I am trying and I am getting
stronger each time I go out. When I was
running today about half way through my run I ran by that sweet lady’s house
again, and I said to myself, what if I
ran like I was a runner. What would that
look like? I straightened my back,
lengthened my stride, and ran as if I were a runner (I think that is what they do anyway!). It felt so much different and it empowered me
to continue. So, we may have always said
we aren’t international adopters, but we are doing it, and we are trying to
take each day saying “we are international adopters.” What is God speaking to you about that you
may think “I am not a ______________?”
What could you be thinking differently about and have the confidence to
do if you let God pave the way?
I don’t know if you will continue to follow our blog, but we
hope to use this to share our journey with you.
We know that we can’t do this alone.
We know that God has it all covered and we trust that even though we
don’t always feel like “we can do this” it is in doing the things that we need Him
for that He receives the glory! We
will trust … and take each step as it comes.
We ask for your prayers on this journey!
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