Updates
can feel futile when there hasn’t been a change. The wait in adoption is waiting on something
that you cannot see, feel or hear. You
are trusting that in this wait, things are happening but you just don’t have
the ability to see or know those things.
It is a journey of faith for sure and also a discipline in the art of
releasing control. I have struggled
between letting it go to the point of not even thinking about it for days at a
time to being consumed each day with thoughts of “When Lord? When?” … Americans are not accustomed to
waiting. And I confess, I do not always “wait”
well. Every few months bring discussions
and wonderings about God’s plan in this.
What will the outcome be? We do
not know. We do not know how long it
will be before it is revealed.
In
crying out to the Lord over the past week I have just asked for Him to show us
if we are to stop on this road and to show us if we are to continue on this
road. Yesterday God spoke again through
an email from a granting entity that we had applied to in October. We had assumed that we were not awarded this
grant as it has been over four months since we sent our application. Well, God spoke clearly again yesterday, we
have been awarded another grant. It is
humbling to be the recipient of a financial gift … we have experienced many on
this journey. It is humbling that our
amazing God, our BIG God cares enough about speaking to us that He would show
us, so long after applying to this grant, that He still wants us on this
journey. I hope, before I leave this
earth, that I can finally find a way to live in the knowledge daily that God
has it all … He has it so that we don’t need to worry. We don’t need to wonder, we just need to
trust. And even more than that, we need
to be thankful, every single day, every single minute. Thankful even in the unknown and thankful
even when it is hard. God is so good, He has plans far beyond our limited grasp
of understanding.
So,
I am thankful, and will work to obediently wait until His plan is revealed!
