Remaining Thankful!

 

Updates can feel futile when there hasn’t been a change.  The wait in adoption is waiting on something that you cannot see, feel or hear.  You are trusting that in this wait, things are happening but you just don’t have the ability to see or know those things.  It is a journey of faith for sure and also a discipline in the art of releasing control.  I have struggled between letting it go to the point of not even thinking about it for days at a time to being consumed each day with thoughts of  “When Lord?  When?” … Americans are not accustomed to waiting.  And I confess, I do not always “wait” well.  Every few months bring discussions and wonderings about God’s plan in this.  What will the outcome be?  We do not know.  We do not know how long it will be before it is revealed. 

 

In crying out to the Lord over the past week I have just asked for Him to show us if we are to stop on this road and to show us if we are to continue on this road.  Yesterday God spoke again through an email from a granting entity that we had applied to in October.  We had assumed that we were not awarded this grant as it has been over four months since we sent our application.  Well, God spoke clearly again yesterday, we have been awarded another grant.  It is humbling to be the recipient of a financial gift … we have experienced many on this journey.  It is humbling that our amazing God, our BIG God cares enough about speaking to us that He would show us, so long after applying to this grant, that He still wants us on this journey.  I hope, before I leave this earth, that I can finally find a way to live in the knowledge daily that God has it all … He has it so that we don’t need to worry.  We don’t need to wonder, we just need to trust.  And even more than that, we need to be thankful, every single day, every single minute.  Thankful even in the unknown and thankful even when it is hard. God is so good, He has plans far beyond our limited grasp of understanding. 

 

So, I am thankful, and will work to obediently wait until His plan is revealed!