Waiting with Anticipation

 

Just a little update before Christmas.  We received some incredible news this week in the form of an email informing us of an adoption grant we have received.  We are overwhelmed with this provision that God has provided.  We were reminded through a sermon two weeks ago of the importance of waiting with anticipation of the things that the Lord is doing in our lives.  Sometimes it is so incredibly easy to focus on how hard the wait is and that we don’t want to wait anymore.  The thing is, while we are ‘waiting’ God is not silent … He is continually working.  What a difference it makes when you can remind yourselves and live in that way of thinking.  When we wait with anticipation it helps us to remember that He is working, He hasn’t left us and He has much to do that may not fit into “our” timeframe.  This new financial provision is not only another reminder of an incredibly Gracious God, but also another confirmation that this is where we are supposed to be.  To say we haven’t wondered “How long Lord?” or even “Is this really going to happen Lord?” …. would be a lie, but gentle reminders and confirmations along the way help us to know that this is where we are supposed to be. 

 

We hope you have a wonderfully blessed Christmas!  We are excited to spend another year celebrating our Savior.  We are honored that we have opportunities to serve Him, and will wait for as long as He has us in this process.  We are now focusing on waiting with anticipation on the things the Lord is going to do!  We hope that if you are waiting for something that you will also be able to remind yourself to wait with anticipation … We serve an amazing God and he has not left you!  Merry Christmas!

A Long Over Due Update

 

This update is long overdue!  We are now actively waiting in domestic adoption with an agency in Georgia.  We really don’t know how long it will take, this is something to release to the Lord and know that He knows the plan and we are ready for what He brings our way.  Kylie just celebrated her seventh birthday and she is really excited to bring home a little sister.

We have had one other major change to share.  We moved, again.  We decided this summer that we needed to try and move back to Farmington and put our house on the market to see if it would sell.  This was a hard decision as having acreage was a long-time dream of ours.  We just knew that it was probably best to move again so we wanted to see what would happen and would remain in that home if it didn’t sell.  It took about a month, but we did end up selling and all of our hard work and sweat equity paid off in our ability to move back close to our old neighborhood without a financial hit.  We were back in Farmington for the start of the school year thanks to the help of Anita and Joel and their providing us a place to live.  We had two weeks of 14 people under one roof … and I must say it actually went fairly well. 

It was a long year of physical labor, one we never want to experience again.  However, we continue to remind ourselves that we are blessed beyond measure and are grateful for a roof over our heads and a comfortable place to call home.  We have been in our new home a month and have worked hard to get settled.  Our renovation project in our other home had reached a point where we were finally able to put our feet up, so we didn’t want to move into another “fixer upper.”  We are looking forward to more time to spend with family this next year and are hopeful that this next adoption will happen sooner rather than later.  Thanks for still reading our updates … we are thankful for the support we receive from you all and do appreciate your interest in our adoption journey.             

Another Direction

Not sure who is even reading or following this journey any more.  I think writing things down is probably therapeutic for me so I continue to do it even if no one is reading it!  :)  We have waited three more months … three months of nothing.  No news, no updates, no court date in sight.  Inquiries to the other side of the world have been responded with, “nothing yet.”   It has now been 20 months since our paperwork got to Ghana.  20 months of absolutely no progress.

Chris and I have had some hard decisions to make.  We have had to evaluate, and re-evaluate our entrance into this process and looking to the things that we knew we had clarity on when starting to adopt again.  Entering this process this time around was much different than when we adopted Kylie.  We have felt equipped to bring home a little bit older child and have known that our deepest desire is to bring another child into our family with the same ethnic background as Kylie. We really had our first time of not knowing what to do last August.  I think God was starting to work on us to think about a different path, but at that time we just didn’t know for sure if changing was the right thing.  I talked about it in my blog post, The Curve Ball -   http://www.followinghimonthejourney.blogspot.com/2014/08/the-curve-ball.html.  Now, as another season of baseball is upon us, and we are still no further along than we were last August ... we have made the decision to change to domestic adoption.  This means updating our home study, redoing the paperwork with a new agency and talking through the changes of this with our kids.  Another test in the unknown ... more moments of are we too old?  Will anyone even pick us?   Can we go back to the baby stage?  This process may be more familiar to us since we have done it before, but that doesn’t mean it is less treacherous.  All types of adoption have their challenges and all are a reminder that there are kids that need homes and that is the number one thing God has been asking of us all along:  To be a family for a child.  So we are doing paperwork again, more forms, copies and more copies, notarizing ‘stuff’ and having another new worker enter our home and lives.  When we had our home visit recently we were asked by the worker if we have had any major circumstances that have impacted us since our last home study.  The biggest thing we can say is … deeper relationship with Christ and a trust in knowing that He is in complete control.  Thanks for following us on this crazy journey!!              

Fear

 

Fear … how it can be stifling and crippling, or a source to encourage you to go to the remover of fear, the One that wants to take ahold of our fears.  Waiting is hard, it really stinks.  The unknown is hard, it really stinks.  Creating scenarios in your head that you then fear is hard, it really stinks.  Why do we do that?  I feel like many days I hope for the best, but prepare mentally for the worst.  What will we do if we don’t get her home?  What will we do if we become legally her parents but can’t get her out of Ghana?  What happens if she comes home and the reality of her trauma is far worse than we hoped for?  What if Chris is shot tomorrow?  What if one of my kids is critically injured?  What if …

I was reminded this weekend through the blessing of an honest, Truth speaking pastor, that God is here, He promises to never leave us and He provides the mercies needed for the battle of each day.  A reminder to keep the perspective that it isn’t about my abilities to conquer, that my situation is not unique and we should not underestimate the ability of God.  When I am weighed down by the fear of the wait, or the fear of sending my husband to work each day I cannot be lost in the “what if’s” … I would encourage you to remember this today as well.  Use today’s mercies to fight today’s troubles … He will provide the mercies needed to battle what comes tomorrow, or in the future.

Lamentations 3:22-23~ ²² Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  ²³ They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Matthew 6:34 ~ ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

The Gift

It has been a few months since we updated our progress.  We have had some exciting things happening and have a renewed energy in this process.  In August, we received a gift … a gift of updated pictures of the sweet little one in Ghana for whom we have been praying  … for over a year now.  Our friend from Rochester traveled to Ghana and was able to MEET her.  What a gift … an in-person meeting and new pictures of her.  So thankful for that gift.  Sometimes you can convince yourself that someone has played a cruel trick on you and that the child you have a picture of and are praying for doesn’t exist.  Of course that could happen, and has I am sure to many people, but having someone put eyes on her was a gift that we are thankful for.

 We moved on September 30^th and since that time have been working on getting things updated.  Our agency was finally able to get out to our home in November for a new home study assessment and we had our updated home study in hand the end of the first week in December.  Let me tell you, when you are a person who is responsible for writing home studies it is really hard to be patient waiting for that document to arrive.  Another item of patience in the process.  Our home study update has made it to Ghana, we have updated and renewed our application with the US government and as of yesterday, had the additional money needed wired to Ghana for the next step in this process.   It is encouraging to see (through a Facebook group we are a part of) many people from the US finally getting to the point of bringing kiddos home and making it through the process.  Less orphans, more kids with a forever family.    

So, we are praying again for a court date.  We knew, over the past several months, that nothing was going to happen because we had to get things updated and have money sent for the new program director.  Now that those things have been accomplished there is the possibility, once again, that progress can be made.  We have had many conversations over the past few months with our kids, who have become increasingly skeptical that we will even make it to the other side of this process.  We have had hard conversations that are more “grown-up” in nature as the boys’ ages bring hard questions that show their fears present in this process.  Fears of parents having to travel and trusting that through all of this, God has a plan that we are following.  We are privileged to serve a mighty God, this process gives you many opportunities to learn and experience His mightiness in new ways.  Please pray with us that this sweet little girl can have the process completed to determine her orphan status.  Please pray that if she is able to have a family to live in that the court process would be completed.  Please pray that she will not have to have to go through another full year without a family to care for her. 

We hope that you all have a blessed Christmas!  We are likely not going to get Christmas cards out this year.  I so enjoy getting cards in the mail; one of my favorite things each year.  If you send us a Christmas card it will still forward from our old address … or if you want our new address please get in touch with me and I will gladly share it with you!  :)

Another Life Change .....

We have had a crazy six months here.  So much has happened in many areas in the lives of the Goodreaus, but just nothing regarding progress in our adoption.  When you first enter the adoption process it is easy to quit making plans in life because you are waiting for that little one to come home and you don’t want anything else to get in the way.  Sometimes then the wait goes on and on and on, until one day you realize that we have no control of the timing and we have to continue to do the things that God is calling us to and take the opportunities that come onto our path. 

In February of this year another life change began.   My sister and I felt God clearly calling us to step out and start an adoption agency.  The agency we have worked for and been mentored under for five years had some changes coming with our director being called to the mission field of Haiti.  When we learned of that change we felt this strong calling by God to step out and start our own agency.  Just to be clear, my first words to Anita when talking through all of this were, “I can tell you what I am not going to do, I am not going to start an agency.”   Anyone else out there know that feeling of the exact thing you tell God you are never going to do become the EXACT thing that He ends up asking you do to?  I thought I had learned never to do that, but clearly I am still a major work in progress!  After many months of paperwork we received our agency license on August 15^th.  We are now a fully licensed agency in Minnesota … Legacy Of Adoption … you can check us out at www.legacyofadoption.com.  I cannot explain why the timing of this happened the way it did, but I can say that had we had our little one home already I think I would have missed or passed on this calling to open an agency.  Scaling back in my current position to get ready for our daughter only to find that she still isn’t home, but in that ‘scaling back’ now had the time to pursue the involved steps of opening an adoption agency.  God always has each detail figured out.

Another adventure is about to begin for us.  In mid-July we came upon an old farm house acreage property that was super exciting to find.  Living on acreage is something that Chris and I have desired for many years, really our whole marriage.  When we moved into our current home 11 years ago we had put that dream to rest believing that it would never happen.  We have so enjoyed this home that God has provided for us and have not been looking for that long dreamed of property.  It has been a crazy month of figuring out if this is a good idea to pursue this property which would actually reduce our mortgage.  Our offer on the property was a long back and forth ordeal and we came to a point where we really didn’t think it was going to happen.  When all finally was approved through a purchase agreement with a contingency requiring our current house to sell we had our house on the market within a few days.  We went on the market on a Monday afternoon and by Wednesday we had an offer.  It was a week before inspections were completed and all items figured out through that process, contingencies were removed and we have closing dates on our sale and purchase set for September 30^th.  We are completely overwhelmed and so grateful for how fast this all happened.  We don’t know why we didn’t have to go through a long grueling sale but we are so thankful. 

So, more lessons on understanding that sometimes we wait, and often there can seem to be some purpose in the wait that we hadn’t been able to see prior.  We are still, at this time, planning to continue on with our adoption process in Ghana.  That is what we have come to for the moment.  We need to be sure that God is closing that door, not us.  We understand that some more changes are coming in the region that our little one is in, so we need to wait a little bit before continuing in the process.  With a move into a new home we will also have lots of paperwork to re-do.  I am pretty used to paperwork this year, feels like it is all I have done!

The Curve Ball

Waiting is hard.  It really kind of stinks actually. We have three major life changers that we are waiting on right now and we have had to exercise extreme patience in the past couple of months.  It can feel like God is trying to ‘teach us patience’ at times and I wonder does this lesson ever get learned well?  I have heard the sayings “Don’t pray for patience” or “My mom prayed for patience and God gave her my brother” … Quite honestly I don’t really believe in having to be “taught patience” what I really believe it is comes down to is learning to believe in the Lord’s best in each situation.  The real lesson for me is knowing over and over, with each day, that God is in control of this and He has a plan that requires us for the time being … to wait. 

 

We have finished yet another year of baseball.  Really my favorite time of year.  I love being at the ball field and could sit and watch baseball or softball daily.  It has been in my blood for a really long time.  Being a pitcher in days past I got to experience the fun of throwing pitches that the batter did not know were coming.  It is quite fun to throw a curve ball, change up or off speed pitch and watch the batter try and hit it.  I have vivid memories of trying not to laugh on the mound because sometimes it truly (from the pitcher’s perspective) just looks funny.  I have actually seen batters tip over trying to hit the ball that was vastly different than what they expected to come.  It has gotten me thinking that sometimes I think that God is just one of those ultimate pitchers.  He throws curve balls and has the vantage point of watching us not knowing it is coming.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe that he throws traumatic things at us to get a laugh, but in my pitcher’s mind I just think sometimes He has fun with it. 

Chris and I are in one of those moments where we have seen a few curve balls over the past several months.  We are feeling right now with this adoption process that God has a different path He may send us on and we have swung and missed a ball that He never intended for us to hit.  It is hard to remain content in the “not knowing” but we are doing our best to listen, trust and discern what He is telling us.  Please pray for us and with us about this.  We do not know if we should be changing to a different program or staying put in this program having less and less confidence that it is going to go anywhere.  We don’t want to be one of those families that “gives up” when we have so clearly been directed to where we are at and we have the face of a little girl who we have been “referred” (although we don’t yet even know if she has orphan status).  We also don’t want to continue chasing pitches that are not the ones we are supposed to hit.