A BIG Update ... Blessed!

We have some news to share.  We are now settled back home as a family of seven!  We received a call on Monday, March 6^th that resulted in traveling to Texas to receive our little girl on Wednesday, March 8^th … which was Corbin’s birthday!  Our sweet Adalyn Joy was born on March 2^nd weighing in at 5 pounds 1 ounce.  She is a healthy, precious girl.  Chris, Alex, Kylie and myself drove through the night to Texas and spent seven nights there waiting approval to come home.  It was glorious to make it back home and reunite as a family again. We had always thought we would be traveling to Georgia but going to Texas instead was also a blessing.  I was able to see a precious sweet lady that I have known through my adoption work for many years now.  That was another very special part of this trip. It was a whirlwind, but we are amazingly blessed. 

 

I wanted to share just a bit about the past month.  Corbin and I were able to go on a short term mission trip to Honduras February 10^th through the 18^th.  It was an incredible time together, serving the Lord through drilling a well for a community school.  God spoke to me often on that trip and in ways I was not expecting.  This adoption process has been long, at times it has felt discouraging, but also God graciously gave us so many moments of confirmation.   Some may feel we are too old to be doing this again.  I know some have wondered why we would start with a newborn in our 40’s.  All I can tell you is that God has led us down this road, and even when things may seem odd from a worldly perspective, we believe this is what God has led us to do.  Back to the mission trip, one common theme on that trip was JOY … we sang often of Joy and of the goodness of God in every single day.  God gave us so much joy in that week.  Coming home renewed, joy-filled, has been an amazing gift I was not expecting.  God spoke to me on that trip.  He confirmed the job He has for me in my work life and in my mommy life.  We are ready to continue to ride this adventure with Him. 

 

A story on her name … while driving to Texas we had been trying to decide on her name, when it came to her middle name I just kept coming back to wanting her middle name to be Joy.  We had discussed Joy, Grace, and Hope.  When we finally decided on Adalyn Joy and texted it to our agency in Texas the worker passed along the name information to the caring home mom for Adalyn.  Because our sweetie did not have a name leaving the hospital, the caring home mom did not have a name to be calling her.  We found out from the agency that when her name ADALYN JOY was relayed the caring home mom shared that she had been calling her Joy because she has the most joyous little face and personality.   How is that for a God moment?  Another reminder that God is in the details.

Thank you to all of you who have prayed for us over the past (almost) 4 years.  Can you believe we started this journey in the international process 4 years ago this coming May.  The domestic adoption side of this journey has been just over a year and a half.  It honestly felt much longer than that much of the time.  We have always believed that God had the timing all figured out.  We are grateful that we have been entrusted this little one.  It is a big job, and one we do not take lightly.  We are blessed.    

 Isn’t she beautiful!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Thoughts From a LEO Wife

 

I am not sure why but this 9/11 has been a bit tougher for me.  I have always realized the magnitude of the events of 9/11 and I remember vividly that day watching the devastation, broken for those personally impacted and wondering how this may reach our family … what if something happens here, close to home?  What if my husband has to be at “ground zero” for days on end? 

This year though I think I have come to my personal realization of the ways that I failed to acknowledge and support my husband.  He has put on the uniform for 22 ½ years.  He has taken in and seen far more than I will ever realize.  He ends each shift putting it all into a mental box, locks it up, and comes home to be an amazing dad and husband.  He works really hard to make sure that his work life doesn’t carry over into our innocence at home.  He has done such a good job of this that really what I have to admit is that I have failed to acknowledge for many of these 22 ½ years the job he walks into each day. 

 

A little over one year after we were married he started his first law enforcement job.  I think originally I had fear of something happening to him, what if he is killed?  I always took the mindset that I can’t live in that fear, God will always be there for whatever comes our way and we have to live life.  I had a wise, more seasoned, law enforcement wife sit me down prior to Chris’ first job and share with me that there will be days that you have to support even though you have no idea what they saw, or had to experience.  She was wise in her advice even though I didn’t really understand what life would be like.  Chris went to work each day, and sometimes, if I was lucky I would hear a funny story; something that would give us a good laugh.  It was rare that I was ever exposed to the bad stuff.  His first week I got a little peek, but after that … it was rare.  I actually was so clueless that I would often question the job they did and why/how they had to do it.  I struggled to accept that people would need to be forcefully taken down or even worse, shot.  Why can’t the force be stopped in a non-lethal way?  I sometimes would question, he would explain, and it never settled well with me.  The bottom line was, I was failing to acknowledge what he steps into each day.  My frame of reference told me that that type of response shouldn’t be necessary, and truthfully, because they do what they do, I can live not understanding when that type of response is necessary.

 

Since 2014 my stance and willingness to understand has completely shifted.  Sad isn’t it.  Really, it took me many years, probably not 20, but far too many to reach the place of understanding.  This understanding isn’t even about just that I want him to make it home each night.  This understanding is that the world law enforcement officers are in each day is something that we do not have a clue in grasping.  When I stop and realize that my husband has taken weapons off of people that had bad intentions countless times, he has used all methods (without lethal force) to apprehend and detain weapon carrying people over his 22+ years, dealt with so many on drugs, strung out or so drunk they have fallen asleep at the wheel at a stop light, or done even worse.  Having to use lethal force is the last option; it is what kicks in when you have gone through all other means in your brain.  For some that mental checklist has to be run through very quickly.  He has worked with 100’s of people with mental health struggles.  He has seen them be willing to comply and he has seen when they have had to get compliance by force.  It is broken, it is something none of us want to think about, but it is a job that he is willing to do.  He is willing to continue to go to work each day, answering each call of unknowns.  He has the courage to do this.  He runs in when everyone else is running out.  How tragic and sad that his own wife hasn’t taken the time to acknowledge this for his entire career. 

I am struggling when I meet people that don’t understand.  When people take the stance that men and women in law enforcement do the job for power, control and people actually believing that pulling the trigger “ain’t nothing but another day at work.”  I will fight for LEOs and will defend them unless an individual case warrants otherwise.  Although this job will change you, I refuse to believe that those entering this job do it with bad intentions.  They actually (most often) think they can make a difference.  Funny huh, that they would actually think they could impact positively those that they interact with.

My (non-adoptive) post today on this 9/11 is to say, thank you.  Thank you Chris, and thank you to the almost 1 million LEOs who get into their squad cars, answer calls and make the hardest decisions imaginable.  I can assure you that the LEO I live with loves his black daughter more than words can express.  He cares deeply for all that he serves each day, of every ethnic background and life circumstance.  I also believe that the VAST majority of LEOs fall into that category.  Chris may be beyond the years of believing any longer that he will have personal impact.  The reality sets in and instead of thinking about that, he does the best that he can do with each person he comes in contact with. 

From what I understand there have been almost 150 first responders who have died over the past 15 years since that day in September 2001.  Those that worked that site for weeks and months and their fate in that commitment was death due to exposure from the elements present.  My hope is that I will adequately prepare my children to understand how difficult the job is and how important respect is when dealing with law enforcement.  I wish that we could see that example from other adults.  I have lived my days of ignorance of this job, and lack of respect and understanding of what they do.  I will no longer be bound by that.  Thank you all of you LEOs that I am friends with that run into the danger instead of running out.  Thank you that you respond without regard to your own well-being so that those in the community can be protected.  And thank you to my husband, who has lived with a wife that hasn’t had a clue for much of the past 22 ½ years, but he still loves me.  Imagine that?  His patience and love for me even when I didn’t get it.  I think I am a pretty blessed wife. 

Never forget … please never forget the sacrifice and willingness every day by first responders. 

Are You Still Adopting?

 

 

 

We have fielded this question many times over the past months.  Truly caring friends and family that wonder what, if any, progress has occurred.  I think many assume that we probably have dropped out of this process and probably don’t want to ask as it is a hard topic sometimes.  The answer is, “yes,” we are still adopting, we are still waiting and we are still confident that God is speaking to us in that we need to continue to wait.  In talking about this last week, we realized that at this point of being active at the agency in Georgia, we still haven’t waited as long as we did for Kylie.  That wait was 10 months from the time our home study was complete.  We are at about nine months right now of being active at the agency domestically.  Clearly, with starting internationally in 2013, we have waited longer than nine months, but for our current process we right now have waited the length of a pregnancy.

 

One thing that anyone who has adopted can likely relate to is do you “get ready” or wait, when it comes to preparedness with a crib, clothes and other baby items.  This time for us we are approved to adopt a child up to age five.  We assume it will be a baby, but it may not be.  We are prepared, but not prepared all at the same time this time around.  Recently we had friends gift us an over-abundance of clothing which makes us more set in that department then I ever thought imaginable.  Being older parents, we also know that you can get by for awhile without the cool baby items that we deemed completely necessary when we had Corbin 16 years ago.   J

 

I wanted to share again God’s amazing goodness and how He speaks.  I often find that I just need to really listen because He does want to reveal to us if we stop and hear Him.  We have had some tough struggles lately helping Kylie work through her grief and loss in adoption (another blog post could be written about that piece, and the misnomer that children adopted at birth will have little to deal with related to their adoption) … this particular day I was very sad, so sad for her and feeling completely incompetent in our ability as her parents.  I was crying out to the Lord and actually told Him that “We can’t do this again … it is too hard!”  I had decided in that moment while sitting in my glider that this was it, we have all we can handle and honestly, “I’m out” on another go-round is what I thought in my head.  Awhile later when I went to check my email I realized we had an email from the agency in Georgia. These emails are not common as we typically have no idea when our profile is being shown.  This email was inquiring with us about a situation and asking would we want to be shown.  I was amazed, once again, that God spoke at the exact time that I was having my melt-down.  He has been gracious in allowing us to receive an answer from Him exactly when we have wondered if we are still to be pursuing.  We were shown, and didn’t end up being chosen for that situation, but God knew we needed another confirmation.  I am sure He is probably thinking “when are you going to get it??” 

 

I have said many times in this process, and continue to say, God’s timing is the only thing we can count on.  We don’t know what is coming, we don’t know when and we honestly don’t know if it will ever happen.  But the one thing we do know is that for some reason God still has us waiting.  For some reason, God has chosen to supply the entire remaining financial need for this adoption, and for some reason He chooses to speak to us in each moment we have of hesitation and doubt.  So, there’s my update … not really an update, but another proclamation that we are still waiting … God continues to have all the details and our job continues to be obediently waiting on Him.

 

Remaining Thankful!

 

Updates can feel futile when there hasn’t been a change.  The wait in adoption is waiting on something that you cannot see, feel or hear.  You are trusting that in this wait, things are happening but you just don’t have the ability to see or know those things.  It is a journey of faith for sure and also a discipline in the art of releasing control.  I have struggled between letting it go to the point of not even thinking about it for days at a time to being consumed each day with thoughts of  “When Lord?  When?” … Americans are not accustomed to waiting.  And I confess, I do not always “wait” well.  Every few months bring discussions and wonderings about God’s plan in this.  What will the outcome be?  We do not know.  We do not know how long it will be before it is revealed. 

 

In crying out to the Lord over the past week I have just asked for Him to show us if we are to stop on this road and to show us if we are to continue on this road.  Yesterday God spoke again through an email from a granting entity that we had applied to in October.  We had assumed that we were not awarded this grant as it has been over four months since we sent our application.  Well, God spoke clearly again yesterday, we have been awarded another grant.  It is humbling to be the recipient of a financial gift … we have experienced many on this journey.  It is humbling that our amazing God, our BIG God cares enough about speaking to us that He would show us, so long after applying to this grant, that He still wants us on this journey.  I hope, before I leave this earth, that I can finally find a way to live in the knowledge daily that God has it all … He has it so that we don’t need to worry.  We don’t need to wonder, we just need to trust.  And even more than that, we need to be thankful, every single day, every single minute.  Thankful even in the unknown and thankful even when it is hard. God is so good, He has plans far beyond our limited grasp of understanding. 

 

So, I am thankful, and will work to obediently wait until His plan is revealed!

Waiting with Anticipation

 

Just a little update before Christmas.  We received some incredible news this week in the form of an email informing us of an adoption grant we have received.  We are overwhelmed with this provision that God has provided.  We were reminded through a sermon two weeks ago of the importance of waiting with anticipation of the things that the Lord is doing in our lives.  Sometimes it is so incredibly easy to focus on how hard the wait is and that we don’t want to wait anymore.  The thing is, while we are ‘waiting’ God is not silent … He is continually working.  What a difference it makes when you can remind yourselves and live in that way of thinking.  When we wait with anticipation it helps us to remember that He is working, He hasn’t left us and He has much to do that may not fit into “our” timeframe.  This new financial provision is not only another reminder of an incredibly Gracious God, but also another confirmation that this is where we are supposed to be.  To say we haven’t wondered “How long Lord?” or even “Is this really going to happen Lord?” …. would be a lie, but gentle reminders and confirmations along the way help us to know that this is where we are supposed to be. 

 

We hope you have a wonderfully blessed Christmas!  We are excited to spend another year celebrating our Savior.  We are honored that we have opportunities to serve Him, and will wait for as long as He has us in this process.  We are now focusing on waiting with anticipation on the things the Lord is going to do!  We hope that if you are waiting for something that you will also be able to remind yourself to wait with anticipation … We serve an amazing God and he has not left you!  Merry Christmas!

A Long Over Due Update

 

This update is long overdue!  We are now actively waiting in domestic adoption with an agency in Georgia.  We really don’t know how long it will take, this is something to release to the Lord and know that He knows the plan and we are ready for what He brings our way.  Kylie just celebrated her seventh birthday and she is really excited to bring home a little sister.

We have had one other major change to share.  We moved, again.  We decided this summer that we needed to try and move back to Farmington and put our house on the market to see if it would sell.  This was a hard decision as having acreage was a long-time dream of ours.  We just knew that it was probably best to move again so we wanted to see what would happen and would remain in that home if it didn’t sell.  It took about a month, but we did end up selling and all of our hard work and sweat equity paid off in our ability to move back close to our old neighborhood without a financial hit.  We were back in Farmington for the start of the school year thanks to the help of Anita and Joel and their providing us a place to live.  We had two weeks of 14 people under one roof … and I must say it actually went fairly well. 

It was a long year of physical labor, one we never want to experience again.  However, we continue to remind ourselves that we are blessed beyond measure and are grateful for a roof over our heads and a comfortable place to call home.  We have been in our new home a month and have worked hard to get settled.  Our renovation project in our other home had reached a point where we were finally able to put our feet up, so we didn’t want to move into another “fixer upper.”  We are looking forward to more time to spend with family this next year and are hopeful that this next adoption will happen sooner rather than later.  Thanks for still reading our updates … we are thankful for the support we receive from you all and do appreciate your interest in our adoption journey.             

Another Direction

Not sure who is even reading or following this journey any more.  I think writing things down is probably therapeutic for me so I continue to do it even if no one is reading it!  :)  We have waited three more months … three months of nothing.  No news, no updates, no court date in sight.  Inquiries to the other side of the world have been responded with, “nothing yet.”   It has now been 20 months since our paperwork got to Ghana.  20 months of absolutely no progress.

Chris and I have had some hard decisions to make.  We have had to evaluate, and re-evaluate our entrance into this process and looking to the things that we knew we had clarity on when starting to adopt again.  Entering this process this time around was much different than when we adopted Kylie.  We have felt equipped to bring home a little bit older child and have known that our deepest desire is to bring another child into our family with the same ethnic background as Kylie. We really had our first time of not knowing what to do last August.  I think God was starting to work on us to think about a different path, but at that time we just didn’t know for sure if changing was the right thing.  I talked about it in my blog post, The Curve Ball -   http://www.followinghimonthejourney.blogspot.com/2014/08/the-curve-ball.html.  Now, as another season of baseball is upon us, and we are still no further along than we were last August ... we have made the decision to change to domestic adoption.  This means updating our home study, redoing the paperwork with a new agency and talking through the changes of this with our kids.  Another test in the unknown ... more moments of are we too old?  Will anyone even pick us?   Can we go back to the baby stage?  This process may be more familiar to us since we have done it before, but that doesn’t mean it is less treacherous.  All types of adoption have their challenges and all are a reminder that there are kids that need homes and that is the number one thing God has been asking of us all along:  To be a family for a child.  So we are doing paperwork again, more forms, copies and more copies, notarizing ‘stuff’ and having another new worker enter our home and lives.  When we had our home visit recently we were asked by the worker if we have had any major circumstances that have impacted us since our last home study.  The biggest thing we can say is … deeper relationship with Christ and a trust in knowing that He is in complete control.  Thanks for following us on this crazy journey!!