The Journey … This Time Around

It is no secret that this adoption journey started much differently than our last.  The last time we decided to adopt is was a long journey.  After having three boys and pre-term labor with all of them, only keeping them in-utero to 36 weeks gestation and only with the help of bed rest, medication and contraction monitoring equipment, we knew we were done having biological children.  I gave birth to our third child knowing that any additional children we were to have would be added to our family through adoption.  Chris knew after our third child that we were 'done.'  About the time our Alex was two years old, we decided to do foster care.  I, of course, figured that God would bring a child to us through foster care, awhile Chris maintained we were ‘done.’  We had a few different placements of children, the longest being a little girl that came to us at 18 months of age.  She was with us about 8 months and when we had to say good bye to her, it was very hard.  After three years of continually trying to come to a decision on adoption, Chris reached the point where he knew that God was speaking to him about adoption.  I remember the night he told me that it was time to start the adoption process.  I was shocked, excited and couldn’t believe that we were actually doing this after three years of talking and praying about it.  Our boys were ecstatic and all cheered when we announced it to them in the van on the way to church the next morning.  Kylie arrived in our family at almost exactly a year from starting the home study process with our agency. 

This time has been different.  It has been hearing the Lord speak clearly and also been a time of Chris and I not looking to adopt.  We really figured we were done having kids and although in my job I have had a few times of thinking we should adopt again, I too had become content with moving forward with the four children that God has given us.  I was also certain that if we did adopt again, God would speak clearly to Chris first and then we would decide if that is what we were to do.  That is not how it happened.  I had been hearing God speak clearly several days in a row that we should be adopting again and I had decided that I was not going to listen to what I was hearing.  I didn’t want to adopt, that would change things and truly I am enjoying life right now.  After hearing this for several days I reluctantly went to Chris and told him what I thought God was saying.  He looked at me and said, “I don’t want to do that.”  I told him that I honestly did not want to either.  I told him that I had been waiting to even tell him what I was hearing but decided that I needed to share it with him.   He went to bed (probably didn’t sleep much) and the next day while he was at work he emailed me and said that we should probably pray about it and see what we hear God saying.  I agreed and that is what we did.

Over the course of the next week we heard God speak probably every day.  Whether it was random radio programs, devotionals, or videos that were Facebook posted by others reminding us that our safety is not in staying in our homes it is doing what is crazy because God is along for the ride, or the day that Kylie (who although is an emotionally charged girl, really doesn’t have tantrums) had an all-out crying tantrum on the floor of our dining room, screaming “I want a sister and I know you are never going to give me one!”  We have had a few different times when we have asked Kylie over the years if she wanted a sister, and she has always adamantly said “no!”  I had a difficult time calming her down that day and wondered if this could really be happening.  Was God really calling us to adopt again?  It is actually difficult now to recall all of the little things that happened that week.

One big thing that happened was at the end of that week, I had gone to the Mandisa concert.  I was blessed to be able to go along as my niece had decided that she didn’t want to go and now there was a ticket for me!  During the intermission the person speaking happened to be a pastor from Nigeria.  It was a child sponsorship talk encouraging people to sponsor a child through a certain organization.  I was prepared for this as it happens at almost every concert we go to.  I was getting ready to kind of “tune out” when I realized that his talk was much different.  He shared right away about how fortunate we are in this country and that for some reason God allowed us to be born at the “front of the line.”  He talked about the wealth and the little things that we take for granted that show us that we are the wealthiest of most of the people in the world (in material things, education, nourishment, opportunities, freedom).  It was such a powerful sermon (it really did turn into a sermon which was awesome) and it moved me.  Then came the part I was waiting for, the pass the cards around of pictures of kids and you find the kiddo that you want to sponsor.  But, that is not what happened.  He started talking about adoption, he talked about the blessing of adoption and how he and his wife had adopted a daughter from Haiti.  He spoke about how there are so many children that need homes in the world and need families, and he said “If God is speaking to you about adoption, then you must respond and obey” …  I started crying and could not believe what I was hearing.  I think my niece Tasha was a little worried about my emotional state but didn’t know what to do about it!  He did then go on to talk about how some are not called to adopt and that child sponsorship is an amazing way to respond to the needs of the orphan.   The next morning I shared with Chris what this pastor had spoken of and we both knew … God was telling us to adopt. 

We then started talking about what our options were, what we were both thinking for the age of the child, and Chris started calling adoption agencies.  One thing that we both felt strongly about this time around was that we were not going to take three years to decide.  We were not going to slowly work toward the idea, rather if this is what God is asking, then we would do it and get going right away.  So since hearing the call from God, getting the paperwork started, home study done and now dossier in Ghana, almost four months have passed.  We really don’t know how long the process will take.  We are thinking up to 9 more months, but truly don’t know for sure.  We have faced a lot of challenges of obedience in the past four months.  We have come to the realization that almost all of the decisions we have made in our marriage have been really based on what we wanted to do.  They have, for the most part, been things that have enhanced our life and things that we desired.  What happens when you make the move to do something out of obedience, not truly knowing (because you haven’t taken the time to visualize and ponder the wonderful ways it will increase our joy) what it will look like on the other side?  We know that God has called us to this.  We are terrified many days now knowing what travelling to Ghana will be like, and not knowing how extensive our daughter’s emotional needs will be and not knowing how it will change our family dynamics.  We know for sure that we will have to rely on God through this … and we know that this is exactly where He wants us to be.    It is a beautiful place to be … our joy and peace comes from Him and relying on Him is a great privilege!  We are blessed to be following Him on the journey. One last thing ... since getting our daughter's name I have looked up the meaning and found that her name means "fortunate one" .... always amazed at every little detail along the way!