All I Want For Christmas Is A Court Date!

I have been thinking a lot this week about traditions and what that means to kids through adoption.  When Chris and I got married I asked him what traditions he had as a child … and he shared that he really didn’t have any.  I think the thing he mentioned was that they would try to find the one open restaurant on Christmas day.  Of course I came from a family of a multitude of traditions spanning generations and things that to me are what make Christmas … Christmas.  So, we entered our married life carrying forward my family’s traditions.  Chris actually loved having something “the same” to look forward to every year.  Although he has never taken to our “Christmas Rice” (and is convinced it shouldn’t take 2 hours to cook), he still stirs the cooking rice for me as he knows how much it means to me at Christmas.  When we had kids Chris decided that he wanted to create one of the traditions that we would carry forward with our kids.  That tradition is what you see pictured above.  We pick out a movie for the kids and they try and guess for a few weeks before which one it will be … then they open it together and after all of the Christmas Eve fun has been had, they all get their sleeping bags and blankets and set up in the living room next to the Christmas tree and watch the movie together.  This then leads to sleeping by the tree.  I wondered last night as I saw Corbin, who is almost 14, how much longer he will want to participate in this tradition.  I like to think that it will never end, but I know at some point it will likely be an obligation rather than an enjoyed tradition. 

I have been thinking about our little one in Ghana and have wondered what makes her know it is Christmas.  I wonder what foods she loves to have and if they are included in special holiday times.  Does she have any memories from her family of origin that she thinks of … Is she making any new memories where she is living now that will be meaningful to her … or is there none of that in life for her now?  I have spoken to many adult adoptees and some from my generation where they were adopted internationally and expected to leave everything about who they were and where they came from behind.  There was no longer “Korean” heritage because you are now “American” and being adopted into a German family means you now only have German traditions and foods.  I don’t say that in a disrespectful manner … truly I don’t, but that was the reality for many that have been adopted over the years.  I think often about what traditions Kylie would be experiencing had she been raised in her birth family.  Kylie only knows the traditions of our home, but what would that look like for her?  I know that when you are adopted you join a new family, but what if we had the ability to bring into this new family things of her “first” family that we could all enjoy?  We are far from experts on this journey but my hope always is that we listen to what God is asking us to do in helping our children learn and grow, and feel loved and accepted.  For our kids through adoption there will be the added piece of grief and loss that we will continually deal with over the years.  I so hope that we are equipped to bring meaning where they need it and cherish things that help them know how much we love and appreciate where they came from and that we want to honor that. 

 

The reality is, Kylie is now in the Goodreau family, she has three older brothers that love to help her learn new things and she has mainly Swedish and Danish foods that she experiences at Christmas.  She has brothers that willing are help her dress her new doll and Kylie is sure to tell them the doll has underwear on so there is no need for her brothers to close their eyes when the doll is naked.  Alex made her doll a little bracelet already this morning and Corbin helped her braid her doll’s hair.  After he is finished braiding I hear him say “It won’t win any awards, but it will do.”  Kylie and her sister will give up much to be in our family.  They will leave behind what life would have been being raised in their biological families.  This was God’s plan for them as it was for my sweet Grandma 85 years ago.  My hope is that they know how much we want to honor where they came from and hope that we can learn more about each of their family of origin so that we can celebrate in ways that honor them.

All I wanted for Christmas was news of a court date.  We had hoped to have this news by now … but that has not happened.  I received an email on Sunday from a sweet friend, another adoptive mommy who knows what it is like to wait for a child to come home. 

Praying for your little one today! His ministry is strong and his support is sure, even when we can't see it! He is FOR the weak of this world; and his heart is turned to the humble! My prayer is that He is etching His name on your little honey's heart and every fiber of her being--that even in her dark hour, his strong light of hope would be shining in. I pray God would be powerful in her case, and move it forward for her adoption; and that He would hold your hearts close in comfort as you wait through these unknown days.

I am so thankful for those of you interceding on our behalf.  Thank you Teresa for your words … I so appreciate it!  Merry Christmas to all of you!  I hope that you are experiencing the wonder of the One who came to save the world!