Happy Birthday Sweet Girl!

 

Well today is little girl’s 3^rd birthday – “little G” … our sweet Ghana girl.  We celebrated in this cold tundra last night making a home-made buttermilk chocolate cake topped with peppermint baking bits and lit candles for her. 

 

 

It is an odd thing because you move forward after receiving a referral knowing this child could be joining your family … but also, there is a very possible scenario that things won’t progress that way.  We think, plan and talk each day like she will be joining our family but the reality is we don’t know for sure.  We all talk about her and Kylie has been speaking more frequently about all of the things she wants to show and teach her when she arrives.  She told me today that she is going to share her blankets and reminded me that we still need to get a bunk bed in her room.  I told her that it will probably be a while still before we will be able to bring her home.   I then shared with her that we had to wait a while for her to come home too.  And that when she came home we were all so happy to finally meet her.

 

My heart is sad today … I am tired of the cold temperatures we are living through and I just want to reach the next step in this process.  This is when it is necessary to go to the only One who gives, HOPE!  I know that God has her in His hands and I trust that He has not left her as an orphan.  He will move when the timing is right.  I know I say that almost each time I write on this blog, but I often have to remind myself of that fact.  His plans are greater than my plans, His ways greater than my ways.

 

I was reading tonight about Ghana birthday traditions.  I don’t know how accurate this is, but in celebrating their birthday, Ghanaian children wake up with a special treat called “oto,” which is a patty made from mashed sweet potato and eggs fried in palm oil.  Later in the day they arrange a birthday party where they usually eat stew and rice and a special dish which is known as “kelewele.”  This is prepared from plantain chunks.  I just wonder if she had this special birthday treat “oto” today.  Will there be stew to celebrate her birthday?   Kylie made a special “birthday cupcake” from her Duplos to celebrate.  She would love to share this with her sister, but for now she will have to wait … Happy birthday sweet girl, happy birthday!  Please keep praying! 

 

 

A Plea To Prayer Warriors!!

 

We received an email on Friday from our POA (Power of Attorney) in Ghana.  We had been waiting for a response to confirm that the paperwork we sent was done correctly and wouldn’t need to be changed or re-done.  He did confirm that our paperwork is in order and that we are now waiting for the Social Welfare to finish with their work; the paperwork can then be filed and we will know the court date.  As in everything with this process so far, we have no idea how long that could take.  We are realizing though that really it doesn’t matter what we are told about how long it will take because it will likely not be an accurate estimate.  I don’t believe that it is intentional, just the mode in Africa.  We are accustomed to the US and people demanding timeframes and expecting things to be done in that timeframe.  In this situation we cannot rely on timeframes given to us.  We know beyond know that God is in control of all timeframes and that really, no matter what we are told, it is only His timeframe that will play out.  We are feeling a strong need to call all those around us to PRAY for this little girl we have been referred and PRAY that the process will continue so that her permanency can be determined. 

 

We have been overwhelmed with the financial support we have received in this process … overwhelmed is an understatement really.  God has now brought in over $17,000 for our adoption and the confirmation that this is where we need to be has not gone unnoticed.  When God calls He will provide … I hope that anyone reading this can see this as a testament to His provision and plans.  We could have not imagined that amount of money coming in but God knows exactly what is needed and He moves in ways beyond our understanding.  If He is calling you to something please see through our process that obedience is all He asks of us … He has it all covered and He will provide, guide and plan it all for you! 

 

Anyway, back to my original request … will you please PRAY with us?  We are asking for concentrated prayer for this sweet girl waiting in Ghana … please pray that the Social Welfare would finish their work so that the paperwork can be filed and a court date can be established.  We do not know if we will be traveling for this first court date, but our prayer is that the date can be established.  God can move mountains, we believe that to the core, and ask that you pray for this with us! 

Thoughts From A Waiting Momma

Waiting is defined by dictionary.com as:  “to remain inactive or in a state of repose, as until something expected happens” … yep, that is it.  To remain inactive … that might be the hardest part of waiting.  Often we can find things to keep us active which ultimately can help keep your mind off of what you are waiting for.  Since being in this process starting this past April/May, we have had a “task” to do almost the entire time.  We first had the process to complete:  home study, orphan application to the US government, fingerprint appointment, medical appointments, dossier completion, originals, copies, notaries … and then the fundraising came next.  We have reached a point where there is not a “task” to do and the true waiting has begun.  We have been blessed to become fully funded and don’t even have to worry or think about that piece any longer. 

I had an adoptive mom tell me last night that waiting in adoption is like being at the end of a pregnancy when you don’t know when you will go into labor.  The hard part with adoption is that this part of the pregnancy can go on for months (or in some cases years).  Thankfully we don’t keep getting bigger in that process … er, uh, well maybe a little bigger with stress eating, but not a growing baby inside of us!  When we were in the adoption process with Kylie we waited nine months for our first match, which ended up falling through.  The wait, anticipation and then disappointment is another part of this crazy process.  The precious child in our first match was born on my Grandma’s birthday (yes, the grandma I have spoken of through this blog who was adopted) so letting go of her was really hard … but she wasn’t our child.  A month later, our sweet Kylie was born and we couldn’t imagine life without her.  God’s plan was for Kylie to come into our family and we are amazed that we were ever chosen to be her parents.  We have a child who has been referred to us, but until we have our first court date we do not know for sure that we are the family for her.  We know that even after having her picture for several months now, she may not be the child that we get to receive into our family.  Another part of this process … love deeply and fight like a parent would knowing that you may have to let go if things don’t progress with being able to adopt that specific child. 

 

I watched a family go through that process with a child from Ethiopia a few years back.  They loved deeply this sweet boy, but then after it was determined he wasn’t adoptable, they had to release him.  Not that they had physical custody of him, but they had loved him with parental love in anticipation that he would join their family.  Their hearts still love and long for this sweet boy but there is nothing that can be done other than to pray for him as he will live his life aging out of the orphanage system. 

Waiting is hard in this instantaneous society we live in.  We don’t want to wait for anything … and for many things we don’t have to wait.  What lessons we learn through waiting.  We trust that God is in control of this process.  He knows what needs to be done and He will make things happen when they need to happen.  I say that knowing that this could take many more months (and I hope not years).  How easy will it be to continue to wait?  My hope is that we can continue to trust in His timing and we ask your prayers for us in this process.  We pray for this sweet girl waiting in Ghana … her name means “fortunate one” and we believe that God has amazing plans for her. 

Psalm 27:14 – “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”

 

All I Want For Christmas Is A Court Date!

I have been thinking a lot this week about traditions and what that means to kids through adoption.  When Chris and I got married I asked him what traditions he had as a child … and he shared that he really didn’t have any.  I think the thing he mentioned was that they would try to find the one open restaurant on Christmas day.  Of course I came from a family of a multitude of traditions spanning generations and things that to me are what make Christmas … Christmas.  So, we entered our married life carrying forward my family’s traditions.  Chris actually loved having something “the same” to look forward to every year.  Although he has never taken to our “Christmas Rice” (and is convinced it shouldn’t take 2 hours to cook), he still stirs the cooking rice for me as he knows how much it means to me at Christmas.  When we had kids Chris decided that he wanted to create one of the traditions that we would carry forward with our kids.  That tradition is what you see pictured above.  We pick out a movie for the kids and they try and guess for a few weeks before which one it will be … then they open it together and after all of the Christmas Eve fun has been had, they all get their sleeping bags and blankets and set up in the living room next to the Christmas tree and watch the movie together.  This then leads to sleeping by the tree.  I wondered last night as I saw Corbin, who is almost 14, how much longer he will want to participate in this tradition.  I like to think that it will never end, but I know at some point it will likely be an obligation rather than an enjoyed tradition. 

I have been thinking about our little one in Ghana and have wondered what makes her know it is Christmas.  I wonder what foods she loves to have and if they are included in special holiday times.  Does she have any memories from her family of origin that she thinks of … Is she making any new memories where she is living now that will be meaningful to her … or is there none of that in life for her now?  I have spoken to many adult adoptees and some from my generation where they were adopted internationally and expected to leave everything about who they were and where they came from behind.  There was no longer “Korean” heritage because you are now “American” and being adopted into a German family means you now only have German traditions and foods.  I don’t say that in a disrespectful manner … truly I don’t, but that was the reality for many that have been adopted over the years.  I think often about what traditions Kylie would be experiencing had she been raised in her birth family.  Kylie only knows the traditions of our home, but what would that look like for her?  I know that when you are adopted you join a new family, but what if we had the ability to bring into this new family things of her “first” family that we could all enjoy?  We are far from experts on this journey but my hope always is that we listen to what God is asking us to do in helping our children learn and grow, and feel loved and accepted.  For our kids through adoption there will be the added piece of grief and loss that we will continually deal with over the years.  I so hope that we are equipped to bring meaning where they need it and cherish things that help them know how much we love and appreciate where they came from and that we want to honor that. 

 

The reality is, Kylie is now in the Goodreau family, she has three older brothers that love to help her learn new things and she has mainly Swedish and Danish foods that she experiences at Christmas.  She has brothers that willing are help her dress her new doll and Kylie is sure to tell them the doll has underwear on so there is no need for her brothers to close their eyes when the doll is naked.  Alex made her doll a little bracelet already this morning and Corbin helped her braid her doll’s hair.  After he is finished braiding I hear him say “It won’t win any awards, but it will do.”  Kylie and her sister will give up much to be in our family.  They will leave behind what life would have been being raised in their biological families.  This was God’s plan for them as it was for my sweet Grandma 85 years ago.  My hope is that they know how much we want to honor where they came from and hope that we can learn more about each of their family of origin so that we can celebrate in ways that honor them.

All I wanted for Christmas was news of a court date.  We had hoped to have this news by now … but that has not happened.  I received an email on Sunday from a sweet friend, another adoptive mommy who knows what it is like to wait for a child to come home. 

Praying for your little one today! His ministry is strong and his support is sure, even when we can't see it! He is FOR the weak of this world; and his heart is turned to the humble! My prayer is that He is etching His name on your little honey's heart and every fiber of her being--that even in her dark hour, his strong light of hope would be shining in. I pray God would be powerful in her case, and move it forward for her adoption; and that He would hold your hearts close in comfort as you wait through these unknown days.

I am so thankful for those of you interceding on our behalf.  Thank you Teresa for your words … I so appreciate it!  Merry Christmas to all of you!  I hope that you are experiencing the wonder of the One who came to save the world!   

UNBELIEVABLE!

 

Wow, we have been in a bit of a phase of amazement over the past couple of weeks with the ways that we are being financially supported on this journey.   We always believed that God would provide for all that we need, but honestly didn’t know what that would look like.  We thought possibly it could come through extra income through my job, or through many different fundraisers that we would take on.  We have been in awe at the ways that God has prompted people to support us … it is truly unbelievable. 

 

Through our first adoption journey, we were living on one income … a police officer’s income.  We are so blessed for Chris’ job and the stability and benefits it provides, but you all can probably understand that a police officer does not fall into the upper income echelons … we have lived life always having our needs met and for the first 10 years of having children we always needed to make decisions frugally so that we could live without debt, and have me be an at-home mom.  In our first adoption we were blessed to receive a three grants from wonderful organizations (Show Hope, Katelyn’s Fund and our Church adoption grand fund) totaling about $9,000 … in addition to that, we received money through a fundraiser and donations from family and friends … about $5,000 more.  We cashed out some small retirement accounts that had accumulated from year’s earlier and drained our savings (about $10,000) knowing that our adoption tax credit would offset any penalty that we would incur.  The remaining money came through loans … if you are doing the math with us, that was about $10,000.  So our total costs for our first adoption were around $34,000 … we had one adoption fall through in that process that caused us to lose $3,500 … another part of the domestic adoption process is that you can have “risk” money with matches.  What this means is that the birth mom is being supported and if she chooses to parent, there could be money lost due to support of her. 

 

We believe (and honestly still do) that if we are a family that is okay with carrying some type of debt/borrowed money for a mortgage, then we should be okay with borrowing money for bringing home a child.  Probably not within the “grand” ideas of Dave Ramsey or other financial freedom people (no disrespect intended), but honestly, that was and still is our take on it.  We wanted to continue to give to our church through the process and because we weren’t willing to compromise that, it was either borrow money or wait until we had that money saved up.  After Kylie was home a year God provided my current job.  With that job we were able to be ‘adoption debt free’ by the time Kylie was 15 months old.  That is our story from last time around. 

 

This time, I am working and we have been blessed tremendously with my job.  We were able to (a few years back) repay all $20,000+ of my school loans for my master’s degree because of my job, and have been blessed with many other opportunities through my working.  We also know that with the addition of another child, and an older child through adoption, my work load is going to need to scale back and I am going to need to return to being at home more.  Our income is going to be reducing again … this time returning primarily to a police officer’s income as a family of seven.  This is why we are so grateful for all of you joining with us in helping with the financial costs of this process.  I hope you know just how incredibly blessed we are from your support and understand deeply just how much we know that your sacrifice ultimately has helped our family.  Your willingness to give big has not gone unnoticed.  It is humbling to receive from others … we are accustomed to living a life where we haven’t had to rely on others to live … so it is humbling to be in a position where we are relying on others for this process.  THANK YOU! 

 

If you have glanced over to the thermometer on this page you have already realized why I am gushing so much in this post!   Look at that total … unbelievable!  We can finish this process not worrying or thinking about where the money is going to come from … it is ready and waiting for that next bill to arrive.  Please accept our heartfelt thank you for your wonderful support of our family.  It has been so much fun to share with the kids along the way and watch them see the ways God has provided.  It is a lesson so valuable for them as well. 

 
We hope you all have a wonderfully blessed Christmas and pray that you are taking in this Christmas knowing the Savior of the world and the miracle that occurred over two thousand years ago that created the celebration of this day.  We are thankful for the saving grace of knowing Christ and we want to continue to live for HIM in all the ways He asks! 

YAY!

Since my post this morning we received confirmation that our power of attorney has our documents in his hands!!  So excited to know that our envelope made it to the destination needed.  He will be delivering the forms this week to the program director for our region.  Please pray with us that we will get a court date.  We know (from watching others ) that our first court date will likely be postponed or cancelled, so we would love to get that first date on the calendar and get this ball rolling!  Another high on this rollercoaster ride ….  :-)

The Rollercoaster Continues ...



Often when I get a home study approved for a family I ask them if they are ready for the roller coaster ride.  Many times I get a chuckle from them and then they realize that I am not chuckling and quite possibly I am being serious about this description.  In my opinion it is the best way to describe what it feels like.  You head up the hill, anxiously anticipating the top, where you know you will “fall” and in some type of delight enjoy this craziness.  Then, you reach the bottom where the thrill has ended, and feel so low and kind of want to go back up the hill, but kind of just want to get off of the ride.  Oh the little hills are fun, and don’t bring as much angst, how fun it is to just have some little hills along the way.  But then that big hill is coming again, am I excited or terrified?  The first hill was fun, but this hill (and subsequent ones after it) brings the knowledge that the first hill had its disappointments … so do I really want to go up a hill again? 

We had a couple of weeks of “highs and lows” as you probably recall from my last post, it was a bit of a low time and the desire to “head back up the hill” was a struggle.  We have been waiting to hear that our packet arrived in Ghana for awhile now.  The last email from the post office indicated that our envelope has been placed in the PO Box of the recipient … now we are waiting to get confirmation from him that it was in the box and he has actually received it.  During the midst of this waiting on our package we received word that a large donation was sent towards our adoption … it actually was sent a couple of months ago but we did not know about it until about a week ago.   Another moment of a “high” where we are amazed in how God provides and wonder how we deserve to be supported so well.  We know that God is in this and are grateful for the continual provisions from Him.  Thank you again, for all of you who have supported us financially or through prayer.  It means more to us that you will ever know.    

So the wait continues.  We are hoping to hear today that the envelope is actually in the hands of the one we sent it to.  We sit in wonder what our little one is doing today.  In the warm Ghanaian sun … I hope she has much joy today and can feel in some small way the love we already have for her.  She received her first Christmas gift this past weekend from her Grandma Carolyn and Grandpa Kermit … a Christmas ornament.  We long for the day when she can put her ornaments on the tree and be a part of a family … we are so amazed that it gets to be our family!